Ehem.

The last time I updated this is so yesterday. Gawd. Like a YEAR ago. Hahahah.

Re-joining Gym: 1st Day Experience

I was talking to Jill on how she made the gym-thing a habit, one thing she said was.."to look for an inspiration" haahah in her case, it was Pol who.. well serves as her inspiration. So that. I'm looking for a prospective inspiration in my gym. Hahhaah DESPERATE! OH YEAAAAAAAH. Hehehhe

BUt when I reached the gym biglang nawala sa utak ko yun and while I was registering.. meron nag HI saken. Syempre akala ko the people lang are being ultra friendly to me since i re-joined but then  naging initial kong sagot.. bigla nalang na blurt out na 'hello din po'. tas tumingin ako sa  then smile. AMP turns out, hindi pala sya nag wwork dun… and member din lang sya like me!!!! MUCH OF STUPIDITY. Nako sayang nakakuha na sana ng inspiration. HAHAHA.

That same day. While I was on my 20th minute plus doing walks, meron tumabi saken then nag jog sya. I had my ipod at ultra high volume that I barely understand what's up with the real surroundings. but then I felt na parang kakaiba ung left shoe ko. I looked at it then it looked normal and continued walking. While this papa is still jogging I looked down and saw the sole of shoe. I don't know how it really happened but it almost flew to the back. WTF. I was totally embarrassed since he stopped ahead of me. I AM VERY SURE that he saw the sole of my shoes at the foot of my machine. HAAAAAAAAAYY. Enough about the inspiration thing! hahahahah

Stuff I truly miss.

1. I miss Saudi in such a way that my family is always complete. We always have dinner together. We pray together. We celebrate birthdays together. Which is… the exact opposite of the present

2. I miss High School especially when my friends and I spend lunch breaks eating at the Marian Quadrangle like on a picnic. We bring mats where we can sit down and everyone else were looking at us. Hehehe. It was fun, who cares we were Seniors that time

3. Travelling with my dad. Enough said.

4. I miss my college drinking buddies where we have regular drinking sessions at The Campus every 3 o'clock. What the. Hahahhaha. I entered school when I really felt dizzy that I almost slipped. And the guard was like 'Oh, okay ka lang?'. Maaaaaan, if he only knew! Heheheh.

5. Attending class as a frosh where I really don't need to pay too much attention since it was just a repetition of High School. Gaaawd, I wish I was that smart all throughout my college year.. unfortunately, NO. Hahaha. Jillie and I were seating in the second row I think. It was really funny that we had this classmate named Joshua who sat in front of us. He was late for our class.. and really perspired by the time he entered class must've woke up late for class or whatever. We were shocked to see that he was wiping his perspiration with INTERMEDIATE PAD PAPER since he doesn't have tissue with him or hanky or whatever! Hahhahaha I can't remember if it was Jill or I who offered tissue. Whatever, I won't ever forget that!

6. Sleepless nights and endless overnights at my house to do our thesis. Hahahah good thing we didn't really had a rough fight. I'm lucky my thesismates were gentlemen. Hahah they don't pay much attention if I shout at them or the like. Booo impatience is my virtue.

7. When I was a kid, I used to live in Batangas. I studied there for a year I think. The funniest memory of pre-school was during a typhoon. Inay's house is like 5minutes walk to school, and services where still not existing at that time. Hahahha duh. It was raining hard and it was really slippery everywhere. I had to go to school of course accompanied by Inay because we don't know if classes were suspended then. I had to go home and change uniform because there was this hilly side that I have no other choice but pass through that way… I slip everytime I pass there. I slipped for like two times, so I arrived to school after my third set of uniform. Just to know that.. classes were suspended. Hello, was that ancient period? Hahahha fun memories

8. In preparation for Christmas, my college berks planned of giving everyone in the class gifts. We went to SM Megamall to do our shopping. Unfortunately, after a few rounds… My stomach felt weird that I asked Jondy if we can head home. Hehheh. Then when we were inside the cab, it was gone at once. Odd, he was about to kill me then! Hehhe.

9. Mdami to eh, hindi ko lang maisip ngayon. Boooooooo!!!!!!!!

Random-ness! =)

We're leaving in about 3 days and there's no excitement at all. Weird probably because I can't think of how dad would do without us or MOM. But his a big guy so he'll do well, I know. I'm just missing him as early as now :c

We organized a small party at the kubo yesterday. Our close relatives were there. It was impromptu actually but it was still fun because everyone came. It became sort of a picnic. They are the best relatives in the whole wide world. Once I'm with them, all we do are tell stories, laugh, joke about ourselves, make fun of everyone, do chores altogether, etc. It's totally different when compared to my relationship with other people, most likely because we grew up together. Like we see each other every weekend since I was little. It was fun really

Jill is in Pagudpud and I envy her! Even if they are telling that to reach that place "mapagod ka lang and mapudpud pwet mo", I don't care. It's a piece of heaven in this hell-like world. That's what other people say din, I don't have any idea. Wahahahah.

Ninang Veni, thanks for the sermon you gave me the other day. Even if I was really mean that day, you kept the calmness and told me think of the good things and still be thankful. I love you ninang. Life talaga has this weird twists and turns. Each of us has our own crosses to bear. We just have to deal with it without giving up and without stepping on other people.

It's hard but we have to love life. I do.

Life moves on.. and so do I…

It feels weird that everytime I close my eyes, I'm crying. This isn't an exaggeration. The super hyper Diane isn't the one you'll see. I still smile, but not as often as I used to. The problems just kept piling up until it came to a point that the heaviest was on top, I can't or don't know how to recover or stand up and bring the smile.

 As my mom states it, I've been used to getting all I want in an instant. It's apt time for me to give it to other people. Probably it's true. But still, it's hard to accept. Especially that I prepared for it. Hmm but not the same way as Dy prepared for it.

Anyway, I still feel happy. I'm thankful that I have my bestfriend to confide with me. And Med who was always checking me out if I was okay. I really appreciate that. There are these people who aren't there when bad times come along but there were very few who were still there to support me. Thank you. You guys know who you are. I won't name you all.

Anyway enough for that. I'm still on the coping stage, cannot talk about it that much yet. But hey, I'll move on. Ako pa.

Giving up dreams. =(

Just a weird thought.. It made me write though. Pretty new because I've stopped posting for months actually.

Anyway, about the title…

While reading a magazine yesterday.. It came to me that in the past, I once thought of being part of a magazine. The possibilities: a make-up artist, a columnist, freelance writer or whatever. Neither came true. Today, while reviewing this Communications book… it came to me again. Weird. When I was way younger, like when we were still in Saudi… I have this collection of short stories. Stories which were all made up. A product of my imagination. Leaving Saudi, that dream of becoming a writer was left there as well. It just saddens me that I've given up so many things that I really wanted. Is that the way of life? When will I ever know that the dream is worth fighting for… in my case, with dad. and mom. and everyone else. Why can't I be the person I wanted to. It's like, after doing something they wanted.. they have another goal for me.

Yes, I'm sheltered. Obviously. Growing in a well sheltered home is a blessing, I don't have any question about that. But until when? Now? When I'm 30? Or married perhaps? I don't know. I wish I could discuss this with my parents. Come on, I WISH!

Anyway, I'll be thinking about this again some other time. For the meantime, I need to continue reading my Comms book, This would've been a lot more fun if these technical books have pictures in it. Like cartoons. Not the resistor type of drawing, I've had an overdose of that already. Hehhe.

Whatever happens. Keep praying and fighting. Aja!

Post Valentines: Love Quotes. Hahahah =)

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."
Anonymous

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."
Anonymous

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give — which is everything."
Anonymous

"Love, like a lamp, needs to be fed out of another's heart, or its flame burns low."
Henry Ward Beecher

"Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a comfortable, trusted element in another person's life."
Dr. Joyce Brothers

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."
H. Jackson Brown Jr.

"Two human loves make one divine."
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again - this is the brave and happy life."
J.E. Buckrose

"We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death."
Leo Buscaglia

"You call it madness, but I call it love."
Don Bvas

"Tell me who you love, and I'll tell you who you are."
Creole Proverb

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo

"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great."
Comte DeBussy-Rabutin

"Love, you know, seeks to make happy rather than to be happy."
Ralph Connor

"Love decreases when it ceases to increase."
Vicomte De Chateaubriand

"To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is angelic."
De Lamartine

"Love builds bridges where there are none."
R. H. Delaney

"You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so you learn to love God and man by loving. Begin as a mere apprentice and the very power of love will lead you on to become a master of the art."
St. Francis De Sales

"Unable are the Loved to die
For Love is Immortality."
Emily Dickinson

"Love is love's reward."
John Dryden

"I like not only to be loved, but to be told I am loved."
George Eliot

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
Friedrich Nietzshe

"The only abnormality is the incapacity to love."
Anais Nin

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of."
Pascal

"Love, free as air at sight of human ties,
Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies."
Alexander Pope

"Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young."
A. W. Pinero

"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."
Plato

"He whom love touches not walks in darkness."
Plato

"There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not."
La Rochefoucauld

"A kiss is a rosy dot placed on the "i" in loving."
Edmond Rostand

"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
Bertrand Russell

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Erich Segal

"Love is a force that connects us to every strand of the universe, an unconditional state that characterizes human nature, a form of knowledge that is always there for us if only we can open ourselves to it."
Emily H. Sell

"Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds."
William Shakespeare

"The course of true love never did run smooth."
William Shakespeare

"Love is a spirit of all compact of fire."
William Shakespeare

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."
William Shakespeare

"Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better."
William Shakespeare

"The main source of good discipline is growing up in a loving family, being loved and learning to love in return."
Dr. Benjamin Spock

"We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us."
Madame De Stael

"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be."
Anna Louise Strong

"When the satisfaction or the security of another person becomes as significant to one as one's own satisfaction or security, then the state of love exists."
Henry Stack Sullivan

"Tis better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all."
Lord Tennyson

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
Mother Theresa

"Let us always greet each other with a smile for the smile is the beginning of love."
Mother Theresa

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
Henry David Thoreau

"The first duty of love is to listen."
Paul Tillich

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit."
Peter Ustinov

"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it."
Song of Songs 8:7

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16

"Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action."
John 3:18

And this is how we are to love one another…
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.
Love never fails…"
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

A not at all good day…

Why?

PUTANGINA

I don't know what happened.. I'm broke.

The thought of what really happened kind of ermm pisses me. Okay, here goes the story of my stupidity.

After my review class at Excel. I decided to leave my other reviewees because I have to meet my mom for lunch. Then I thought of riding a cab instead of the usual FX/bus. A cab stopped then I asked if ok lang MOA ako. Then he said ok. I sat at the back passenger's seat. He was telling me stuff that I can't remember.. What I do remember is our route was different with that of my usual route. We took the Nagtahan route. And being a south person, I don't know if that was a logical route. Consider the traffic of Quiapo though. HMM next thing I knew, I was infront of Unilever about to ride another cab. Then thinking of what happened, I paid 786 pesos for the ride. MAJOR stupidity. Grabe. Now I'm broke. Really. Kasi naman for a ride almost 800 bucks. Hello?

This has been a lesson for me not to leave Morayta alone from then on. Hays.

I carry your heart with me..Ü

ZzzZzZZz…Ü

Huhuhu

CONGRATULATIONS to all the ECE Board Passers. Wuhooo iiiiiinnnnnooooomMmm! Hahahah